look no pants
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
