I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
