; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
