A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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