We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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