sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
