OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize