12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
