if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
