no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize