I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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