I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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