last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
