Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
