just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
