That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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