look no pants
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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