i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
