their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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