remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I will die if light touches me.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
