we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
