Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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