Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize