There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
