I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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