I wanna passion pit in your ass
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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