so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
