I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize