Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
