Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
