what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Someone shit on the floor
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
