That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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