Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
