her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize