I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
