so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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