my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
