Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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