Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
