Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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