Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
