I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
