I wannas sexs uuuuu
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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