whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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