I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
