ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
