I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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