did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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