i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
