Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
