i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
