...so i touched it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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