she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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