I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
