How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
