Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
