I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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