I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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