You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
