Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
