there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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