I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
