bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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