you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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