How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dicks are not precious.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
