so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
