jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
