you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
