porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
