like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You can't motorboat a personality
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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