hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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