This girl is more easily done than said...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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