I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
