your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Let's get the cat blown out
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
